Why You Don’t Have To Be Strong

Musings about strength ~

I thought I would share my thoughts.

Why do we feel the need to be ‘strong’ all the time?

Is it because of loved ones past reactions when you were honest, open and vulnerable? Were you shut down in the past? Is it because you don’t want to confront the feelings you are suppressing that so badly want to come to the surface and be released. Is there shame around crying for you and being sensitive? Did your parents tell you that you need to be strong or to toughen up growing up or were you rewarded only when they felt you were?

The reality is, what is perceived as being strong is culturally accepted and celebrated in our society. We are conditioned to believe this is a positive attribute from a very young age. The only time I have observed complete freedom to express emotion without any concern of judgement is from small babies, young children and maybe at a women’s healing circle or post group meditation discussion.

How many times have you had to force yourself to leave the house to run errands. Walking feels like running through mud. Tears are welling up in your eyes. You have a lump in the back of your throat. Yet when someone, whether it be a stranger, acquaintance or a friend asks if you are ok. You tell them everything is great, or maybe even fabulous! This was just an example. Everyone is going through something whether it be a chronic illness, grief, depression, anxiety or stress from the inevitable challenges life throws at us.

How often do you feel comfortable sharing your truth and the realities of what you are going through?

I personally have always felt the need to be ‘strong’ and withhold details of my suffering because I didn’t want to worry anyone. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want anyone to make a fuss. I didn’t want anyone to know that I wasn’t ok. It just made me feel so uncomfortable being honest! Even though I would divulge certain details they were always sugar coated, masked with fake laughter, a smile and a lighthearted statement to dismiss any of the details I had shared.

One of the core reasons I did this I recently identified is because I am a people pleaser and care way too much about what other people think of me.  I was conditioned to want others to see me only as the carefree, fun loving party girl I once was (who was secretly suffering). Little did I know was that my loved ones actually love me unconditionally. They love all shades of me. A really beautiful and pivotal moment occurred when I was struggling one day and a dear friend told me that her love and the love of our friends surrounding us was unconditional. It is funny how one small comment can change everything. I also think change came from falling in love with myself, the real me. Letting go of all identities.

It takes so much strength and courage to be vulnerable, open, honest and to share from the heart in our society. I feel it is much harder for men and I want to acknowledge this.

Something I think we need to remember as we shift from being the sharer and the listener in our relationships is that what people share with you is important to them. What we share is important to us. Something seemingly insignificant to you could be an important share for another. It’s important to practice active listening always.

How do we create change?

I believe it starts with having the courage to be real, raw and honest with family, friends and lovers. Even though it is extremely scary and takes you out of your comfort zone. Being vulnerable, open and honest = strength.

I understand this comes with the risk of not feeling heard, seen and understood by a loved one. Which is so scary. Especially if it is someone very dear to you. But it also comes with the potential to make you feel heard, seen and understood. Which is healing and transformative.

Although there may be people you love who do not appear to be able to hold space for you, listen without judgment and be present, this is generally a reflection of their own internal reality and deep suffering. Sadly we must accept that some people are not ready to face their own struggles and therefore often the suffering of others. On the other hand being open is contagious! There is a high chance that if you take the plunge and share from your heart, the other person will too. Even if it is at a later date. You have started a trend!

When it comes to being the one holding space for another and listening to a loved one open up, it is important to remember that your active listening ear and presence are the most important and precious things you can offer them. You do not have to fix anything. You do not have to offer them anything. Of course you can if you feel it is appropriate at the time.

In our modern world I do feel (because of shortening attention spans due to the use of technology) people find it harder to practice active listening and presence. I know I am guilty of this and I feel like using a smart phone has contributed. I am now making a conscious decision to limit the use of my smart phone.

My intention for sharing my musings on this subject is I want to start the conversation. I wanted to share my thoughts. I would love for you to contribute by commenting below or sharing this post.

With love, Amy x

 

 

3 Crucial Things I Learned From A 14 Day Water Fast

In March of this year I completed a 14 day water fast which I broke very cautiously with one week of green juice and another week with green juices and smoothies.

I had been researching the benefits of fasting for many years and after successfully completing some short juice fasts and eating a very cleansing high carb (high fruit), low fat raw vegan diet for two years I felt it was time to attempt a water fast. Being the extremely disciplined and determined person that I am, I jumped right in! My intention was to finally heal my body and accelerate the elimination of toxins I had accumulated over my life time. I was praying the fast would result in a miraculous recovery.

Water fasting has been practiced for thousands of years for religious and spiritual purposes as well as to heal many serious diseases (Jesus, the Prophet Mohammad, Buddhas and the ancient Greeks, Plato, and Hippocrates all practiced fasting). Studies have found that water fasting induces a process called autophagy (‘self-eating’) where old parts of cells are broken down and recycled. Autophagy prevents damaged cells from accumulating in the body preventing disease and increasing lifespan. During a water fast your body is in a state of ketosis. Ketosis is the state in which your body begins using energy from your internal fat stores instead of food. Water fasting has been proven to slow aging, promote longevity, regenerate your immune system and improve brain function.

Water fasting became particularly popular during the ‘Natural Hygiene’ movement that began in the 1830’s to treat serious disease. Natural Hygiene physicians rejected conventional medical practices and taught people how to live disease-free lives by utilising the healing power of nature. The physicians were ahead of their time and recommended a plant-based diet. They promoted water fasting and the avoidance of unnecessary drugs and surgery.

Is water fasting in 2018 the same as water fasting in the 1800’s? The answer is a big NO. A long water fast undertaken in 2018 is very different to water fasting 50 years ago and even 10 years ago. New chemicals are being released into the atmosphere everyday. Approximately 2,000 different unregulated chemicals are released annually in the United States alone. As our planet becomes increasingly toxic, so do we. We are the microcosm of the macrocosm. We are now exposed to thousands of chemicals on a daily basis from the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we consume, pharmaceutical drugs, toxic mould exposures, synthetic fragrances,  the chemicals we put on our bodies and clean with as well as chemicals off-gassing from furniture, bedding, building materials and paints in our home. The level of toxicity present in the average person in 2018 is very different to someone living in the 1800’s. This is evident when looking at blood and urine samples taken from adults but also from testing the levels of chemicals in the umbilical cords of new borns.

This brings me to my first lesson ~

~  Water fasting (extended) is a very different experience now than it was in the past. DO NOT DO IT!

I do not recommend long water fasts. The only fasting I would recommend is very short water fasts, juice fasts and intermittent fasting.

BUT a caveat.

If you are wanting to truly detoxify your body from the accumulation of toxins in this modern world you need true binders. If you are going to fast and these toxins are released from fat and tissue into the blood stream and then into the gut only some water soluble toxins are excreted through urine. This puts a huge stress on the kidneys. Also most toxins are fat soluble and are excreted from the gallbladder with bile. During a fast gut function comes to a halt. These toxins are literally released and then reabsorbed.

If you do a short water fast or a juice fast please use binders such a Charcoal, Bentonite, Zeolite, Enterosgel, Microsilica & Biosil. You will literally be in the very same position you were prior to a fast after you finish as the toxins settle back into fat cells, tissues and organs without them. I personally did use a very minimal amounts of binders at the very beginning of my water fast but this was not enough.

If you really truly believe that a water fast is going to benefit you please only do it supervised by professionals at TrueNorth.

~ Do not water fast when your body is already depleted of nutrients.

I intuitively knew that I shouldn’t water fast. My determination, desperation, discipline, and desire to heal (and to heal fast) overrode this. Prior to beginning my fast I was low in iron, B vitamins and essential minerals including iodine. If you are to do a short fast make sure you are strong enough and have adequate nutrient stores.

~ Do not water fast when you have heavy metal toxicity.

I have had high levels of heavy metals for some time. This is a contraindication for water fasting. For some reason I thought I would be fine and that maybe my levels had gone down over the past 7 years. It is not worth risking let me tell you!

During my water fast I felt calm, connected and at peace. Considering how awful I felt physically going without food for 14 days this was surprising. It wasn’t until I began eating fat again (2 weeks post water fast) that I realised something was very wrong. Fat stimulates the gallbladder to release bile and this is where accumulated fat soluble toxins are released. From my experience and understanding the toxins that had been mobilised and stored in my liver over the past 14 days began being dumped into my intestinal tract. Because of enterohepatic re-circulation most bile salts and toxins are reabsorbed in the small intestine. I began to have serious psychological symptoms that are very rare for me and only seem to occur when I try to chelate heavy metals too fast. I experienced an overwhelming feeling of dread, I was depressed, I couldn’t stop crying, my brain felt ‘numb’ and I could not leave the house.

I am going to be real, raw and honest with you, for me water fasting caused a decline in my health.  I was a dangerous 40kg when I finished fasting and it took me a long time to recover and put on weight because my gut function was impaired due to toxins being dumped into my digestive tract, dysbiosis, fat malabsorption and diarrhea. I was so incredibly weak and it took many months to build strength and replenish lost vitamins and minerals. Pushing my body into such a hard and fast detox caused a huge amount of stress that it could not deal with. My poor adrenals, kidneys and liver suffered as well as many other organs and systems. The fast depleted my immune system and my white and red blood cell counts were extremely low after completing the fast.

I wholeheartedly believe that slow and steady wins the race when it comes to healing chronic illness. A lesson I learn over and over again on this journey.

I was unsure whether to share my experience as there is a lot of shame for me around what I did. I feel like I failed yet again. I believe it is important for people to read about my experience so they can understand that water fasting can be incredibly dangerous. I am not denying that it can be helpful for some people when done under supervision and at times life changing but I feel this is becoming increasingly rare because of the extreme amount of toxins we are exposed to. As I mentioned earlier a gentler approach is more beneficial in most circumstances ~ utilising a therapeutic high carb (high fruit), raw vegan diet (Medical Medium, Dr Morse, Dan McDonald), short (longer if experienced) juice fasts with high quality binders, intermittent fasting and short water fasts (24-48 hours) with binders.

Remember this is my experience and my opinions being shared but I do hope I can make you re-think whether a fast is the right thing for you at this time and to be aware of the importance of binders.

I am happy to report that after 5 months I now feel I have mostly recovered my health to where it was prior to my fast. I am now working on my core issues ~ heavy metal toxicity and infection as a result of a suppressed immune system caused by the heavy metals and general toxicity. Simultaneously I am taking pyroluria, methylation and detox support supplements. You can read more about what I am doing here.

Do you have experience with fasting? I would love to hear from you and I am open to any feedback.

Sending so much love to you all.

Amy x